Building Meaningful Relationships in the Modern World

In today's world, people tend to value independence and self-sufficiency more than ever. Many people feel comfortable being alone, which is reflected in popular quotes and social media posts. For example, you might have seen phrases like "The Older I Get, The Smaller My Circle Becomes" or "Those who fly solo have the strongest wings". These quotes suggest that it's good to be self-reliant and not depend on others too much. 

While it's important to feel comfortable with oneself, it's also important to remember that prolonged isolation and pushing people away will negatively affect our well-being.
 

The Impact of Social Connections on Health 

According to a study led by Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, not having enough social connections can be just as harmful to your health as smoking or alcohol addiction. The study shows that loneliness and social isolation are even more damaging to your physical and mental health than obesity. This means that the impact of being alone is significant and can increase the risk of premature death. 

Contrastingly, a study by Wendy Suzuki from New York University highlights the pivotal role of positive interactions in living longer. Suzuki suggests that the number one predictor of a longer life is not an exercise, but the quality of healthy interactions one engages in. This underscores the importance of social bonds for our well-being.
 

Humans: Wired for Connection 

Humans evolved to be social beings. In the past, we hunted in small, tight-knit groups where social cohesion was essential for protection from predators. Being alone in the wild without support can be both dangerous and stressful as it requires constant vigilance and readiness to go into "fight or flight" mode at any moment. The same thing goes on with our bodies and minds nowadays; whenever we are isolated, despite not being in the wild anymore, our bodies give off the same stress hormones that can eventually debilitate us mentally and physically. 

On the other hand, when we are able to have healthy interactions with others, our bodies will release a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin is referred to as the "love hormone." It has been found to reduce stress and reduce the activity in the amygdala, a part of the brain that is activated when we perceive a threat. 

Challenges in this Modern Age 

In today's world, where technology has seemingly brought us "closer" together, it's ironic that feelings of loneliness and isolation are rising. Surveys indicate that almost half of the surveyed 20,000 U.S. adults find themselves grappling with these emotions. 

One possible contributor to this surge in loneliness is our heavy reliance on technology, which often means spending more time engrossed in our phones and devices, sidelining in-person interactions. This shift may come at the cost of diminishing our social skills, making the task of forming meaningful connections with others more challenging. 

Furthermore, inadequate social and relationship management skills can also stem from one's environment and upbringing. Individuals may have experienced tumultuous relationships at home. They may have parents/ guardians who don't connect with them or have parents who are in constant conflict. These early experiences can significantly impact their ability to navigate social interactions later in life. 

Moreover, in a distressing cycle, those who have experienced trauma can inadvertently become the perpetrators of trauma later on. This perpetuates the cycle because, as the saying goes, "hurt people; hurt other people." 

Breaking free from this damaging cycle necessitates a crucial step: pivoting towards building bonds — a fundamental competency in Social and Emotional Intelligence.
 

Breaking the Cycle by Building Bonds 

Building Bonds is a skill that falls under the relationship management category of Social and Emotional Intelligence. This skill helps people to build and maintain strong relationships, both personal and professional. People with this skill are able to connect with others on a deeper level rather than just on the surface. They are good at cultivating and maintaining a wide network of contacts and are able to seek out relationships that are mutually beneficial. They are also skilled at building rapport with others and keeping them informed. 

In contrast, people who lack this skill often struggle with connecting with others. They may find it difficult to relate to their colleagues, direct reports, or higher management. They may also fail to recognise or respond to the needs and concerns of others. They may view their colleagues as competitors rather than collaborators. As a result, they may have limited connections within their organisation, which can make it difficult for them to get answers or complete projects effectively. 

By developing the Building Bonds skill, you can enhance your ability to connect with others and build strong relationships that will benefit you both personally and professionally.  

Practical Tips for Building Bonds 

If you desire to cultivate the competency of Building Bonds and foster healthier relationships, both on a personal and professional level, here are actionable tips to guide you on this transformative journey: 

1) Reflect on your interactions. 

Regularly take a moment to think about how your interactions with others are affecting your relationships. Consider the quality and outcomes of both verbal and non-verbal communication. Asking for feedback from colleagues, friends, and family members can help you identify areas for improvement. 

2) Solicit Constructive Feedback. 

Ask for feedback from colleagues, direct reports, family members and peers to get a better understanding of how you are perceived when it comes to building relationships. Constructive criticism can help you improve specific areas. This approach fosters a collaborative and inclusive environment that shows you are committed to growth. 

3) Cultivate Informal Connections.  

Make an effort to connect with your coworkers beyond the formal work setting. You can schedule coffee breaks or lunches, which offer a relaxed and personal environment to have conversations that go beyond work projects and deadlines. These casual interactions can provide valuable insights into your colleagues' roles, challenges, and aspirations. Building relationships outside of work lays the groundwork for more profound and meaningful connections. 

This practice doesn't have to be limited to the workplace. You can extend it to your family and friends as well. By doing so, you can enhance your overall social connectedness, enriching both personal and professional aspects of your life. 

4) Extend Support During Overwhelming Times.  

Show your colleagues that you care by offering to help during periods of high workload or stress. This act showcases your empathy and commitment to their success. It not only lightens their burden but also reinforces the collective spirit of success within the group. 

This act of solidarity fosters stronger interpersonal bonds, not just in professional settings but also within the broader spectrum of relationships, including those with family and friends. It creates a culture of mutual support, enriching the quality of connections in both personal and professional spheres. 

5) Attend Organisational and Community Events. 

Participate in events organised by your workplace and local community. Engaging in holiday parties, award ceremonies, or community activities allows you to connect with a diverse range of individuals. Networking in various settings broadens your social reach and facilitates relationship-building beyond immediate professional circles.
 

Nurturing Bonds for a Better New Year 

As we enter a new year, it's the perfect time to focus on building deeper connections, both personally and professionally. By implementing these practical tips, you can enrich your professional life and contribute to a supportive and collaborative community. 

The strength of our bonds with others is essential to living a less stressful and  purposeful life. Make building meaningful connections be the cornerstone of your aspirations for the coming year. May it bring opportunities for shared successes, collaborative growth, and a life enriched by genuine relationships.
 

We Are Here to Help  

At  People Builders, we have a team of expert trainers and coaches who will help you and your team develop Social and Emotional Intelligence including Building Bonds and many other competencies.  

Contact us today for a quick chat to see how we can partner with you to train and coach you and your team. If you want to become a certified trainer and coach in Social and Emotional Intelligence or Extended DISC Behavioural Profiling, find out how by visiting the People Builders Institute website.