Mastering Behavioural Self-Control in a Turbulent World

In the hustle and bustle of today's world, it's no secret that excessive stress is a common problem for many people. The never-ending rush, the constant changes, and the daily challenges, can quickly add up and make you feel overwhelmed. It's easy to feel like you're on the brink of losing control at any moment. However, it's important to remember that there's a key difference between letting your emotions get the best of you and keeping a level head, especially when you're feeling particularly heated or upset.
 

A Tale of Two Choices 

Let me tell you a story about Sam, a character some of you might relate to. Sam's day starts off on the wrong foot as he experiences a series of unfortunate events. First, he has a bad morning at home, followed by the stress of being late for work. To make things worse, when he tries to find a parking spot, another driver swoops in and steals his space. This situation tests his patience, and Sam feels angry, which is sometimes a natural response to such a provocation. 

However, how he chooses to channel that anger will determine his future. 

In one scenario, Sam does not navigate his emotions in a healthy way and lashes out at the other driver in a fit of rage. The situation escalates, leading to physical confrontation, workplace disruption, damaged relationships, and even legal consequences. Unfortunately, this is a frighteningly common scenario where tempers flare, actions spiral out of control, and lives are altered in an instant. 

But there's another path available to Sam—a path of restraint and self-control. Despite feeling angry, Sam chooses not to escalate the situation. Instead, he takes a moment to collect himself, recognising that his actions in this moment could have lasting repercussions. With a cool head and a clear mind, he decides to approach the other driver with understanding rather than aggression. The result? A resolution born out of respect, a newfound friendship, and a sense of pride in maintaining his composure. 

So, how about you? Which of these scenarios can you often relate to?
 

Navigating Life's Crossroads: The Crucial Role of Behavioural Self-Control 

The ability to exercise behavioural self-control is a powerful tool that will make all the difference in navigating life's challenges. When you have this competency, you will be able to exhibit resilience in the face of adversity and be composed, positive, and calm even in the most trying circumstances. You will also be able to navigate your impulses, remain focused under pressure, and choose constructive responses over knee-jerk reactions. 

On the other hand, those who lack behavioural self-control may find themselves easily swayed by their emotions, reacting impulsively and aggravating conflicts instead of resolving them. They may struggle to manage their stress and have difficulty maintaining their relationships, leading to burnout or feelings of helplessness. 

The good news is that anyone will be able to develop this skill. So, how do you do that? 

Here are some of the most effective developmental tips to guide you along the way.
 

Developing Behavioural Self Control 

1) Hone your Self-Awareness.  

Developing behavioural self-control is a journey that starts with cultivating self-awareness. Taking a moment to reflect on your emotions, reactions, and triggers will help you better understand yourself. By identifying the situations that tend to push your buttons and the moments when you find yourself losing control, you will take proactive steps to manage your responses. Self-awareness is the first step to developing the ability to control your behaviour, so take the time to reflect on yourself and your emotions. By doing this, you will be able to anticipate and manage your responses differently, allowing you to make calmer decisions and behave more resourcefully. 

2) Identify your triggers.  

Identifying your triggers is a crucial ingredient in navigating your emotions in a healthy way and controlling your behaviour. 

We all have our "hot buttons" - those situations or events that will push you over the edge and leave you feeling stressed, anxious or angry. 

By taking the time to make a list of your triggers, you will be able to begin to recognise patterns in your emotional responses and become more proactive in addressing them. Whether it's criticism, conflict, stress, uncertainty or something else entirely, knowing your triggers will help you take navigate your emotions and manage your behaviour more effectively.  

So, start making that list today and take the first step towards a happier and more peaceful life. 

3) Write out a strategy to deal with each of these issues the next time they arise. 

Develop a unique strategy for each emotion to help you manage your behaviour. Once you've identified your triggers, take the time to devise a plan for how you will respond when they arise. Your strategy may involve a variety of techniques for diffusing tension, including deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, or positive self-talk. 

By considering what has worked for you in the past and tailoring your approach to fit your unique needs and preferences, you will create a plan that empowers you to stay in control even in the most challenging situations. Remember, developing a solid plan is the key to developing behavioural self-control. 

4) Choose constructive responses.  

In the heat of the moment, it might be tempting to react impulsively or defensively. However, to exercise behavioural self-control, it's critical to pause and consider your options. Instead of succumbing to anger or frustration, strive to choose a more constructive response. This might involve taking a step back, seeking perspective, or engaging in problem-solving dialogue.  

5) Watch your self-talk.  

Pay attention to your self-talk during moments of stress or challenge. Are you reinforcing negative patterns of thinking or offering yourself encouragement and support? By consciously shaping your self-talk, you will cultivate a mindset that promotes composure, focus, and clarity under pressure. Choose to reframe your self-talk in a way that serves you better and gain the confidence to navigate challenges with ease.
 

Embrace the Journey of Self-Mastery: The Transformative Power of Behavioural Self-Control 

Mastering behavioural self-control is a transformative journey that leads to personal growth and resilience. By recognising your triggers and understanding the patterns of your reactions, you will choose a path guided by composure, clarity, and constructive action. As the Chinese proverb says, "He who blows his top loses all his thinking matter." 

This journey of self-discovery and self-mastery requires you to remain steadfast in your values and principles, even in the face of adversity. By practising behavioural self-control, you will become a more positive influence on those around you and contribute to a more peaceful and compassionate society.  

So, embrace this journey with an open heart and mind, knowing that the rewards of self-mastery are boundless and enduring. 

We are Here to Help 

At People Builders, we have a team of expert trainers and coaches who will help you and your team develop Behavioural Self Control and many other competencies.   

Contact us today for a quick chat to see how we can partner with you to train and coach you and your team. If you want to become a certified trainer and coach in Social and Emotional Intelligence or Extended DISC Behavioural Profiling, find out how by visiting the People Builders Institute website.