Taking Back Control at the Helm of Your Life

Do you often avoid confrontations with people, even if it is the best way to get a problem resolved?

Do you often have difficulty speaking truth to power? 

Do you hesitate to try new things?

Do you often feel anxious when faced with uncertainties and/or difficulties? 

Do you often avoid challenges or give in too readily?

Do you often question your ability and often feel powerless?

Are you unable to set boundaries or demand respectful treatment from others? 

If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, you probably have little or no control over your life. You are like a captain who lacks the ability to control his ship that is being forced off-course by the winds and waves of life. 

If you are someone who desires to be freed from the grip of worry and doubt, this article will help you to build up your Personal Power. This will give you the capacity to take control at the helm of your life so you can steer it around obstacles and stay on-course. 

What is Personal Power, and how can it help you take control of your life?

Personal Power is a sense of self-confidence and an inner knowing that you can meet life's challenges to live the life you choose. It gives you the ability to have difficult conversations in life, and to speak your truth quietly, sincerely, assertively, and appropriately.

In today's competitive, challenging, and image-obsessed world, a lack of Personal Power will undermine your confidence, disempower you, keep you from reaching your full potential, and prevent you from reaching your desired destination.

Several studies show that Personal Power is directly linked to a person's job performance and career advancement. These studies reveal that employees who score high in the said competency are more focused and are better leaders because they trust their own judgment. They make wiser decisions in assuming autonomy on projects, team management, recruiting and promotion, and overall communication with colleagues.

In short, when you have Personal Power, you will be able to: 

• Be in control of your life.

• Have a calm inner conviction about who you are and the confidence that you can get what you want and need in life.

• Believe that you have the capacity to set or change the direction of your life.

• Distinguish between the things you have control of, and those you don't, without stressing over the latter.

• Define yourself from the inside out ("I'm capable," "I'm good at managing setbacks," "I'm pretty good at managing conflicts," "I'm creative") rather than from the outside in ("I'm a coach," "I'm a banker," "I'm a lawyer," or "I'm a doctor")

• Make things happen instead of leaving things to fate.

• Know what you want and go after it.

• Become more self-confident.

• Speak your truth and give voice to your convictions.

(Words and data are taken from the Institute of Social and Emotional Intelligence)

The 4P’s to Developing Your Personal Power

So how do you develop this crucial competency?

You can increase your Personal Power by practicing these 4Ps: 

PRAISE Yourself.

Make a list of the things you've accomplished in your life and identify the things you excel in. Make a sincere effort to recapture the feelings you experienced when you achieved your goals and tap into the emotions associated with those strengths.

You see, the human mind is hardwired to instinctively gravitate toward the negative, but when you consider what you've previously accomplished, a more realistic perspective emerges. When confronted with a challenging situation, remembering a period when you overcame a similar challenge can increase your self-esteem and assist you in overcoming your present difficulties.

PRACTICE Assertiveness.

Assertiveness is an interpersonal trait in which you display healthy confidence while yet respecting the rights of others. Accurate and straightforward communication is the hallmark of an assertive person. Asking for what you need calmly and confidently is the best way to get what you want from others.

PLACE Boundaries.

Boundaries are the rules and restrictions you establish for yourself that guide your decision about what you will and will not allow. You don't want people to tramp all over you, but you also don't want them to believe you're a bully. Establishing limits enables you to discern when you should say yes and when you should say no.

PROGRESS Incrementally.

For you to progress (noun), you need to progress (verb).

(The verb ‘progress’ is the act of moving forward or onward in space or time, while the noun ‘progress’ is a forward or onward movement toward a destination.)

So, for you to PROGRESS - to gain momentum, experience a breakthrough, and take control of your life - you need to move on and move forward, day by day.

Moving forward means learning from and moving on from your mistakes. It’s learning to let go and to stop trying to control situations over which you have no control or power over.


Indeed, Personal Power plays a crucial role in your overall happiness and success by giving you the capacity to control your life and to navigate through the challenges that you will or might face in life. 

Take time to give a serious thought to this area in your life and imagine what you could accomplish if you were empowered to take control at the helm of your life as you discover and nurture your Personal Power. What a waste if it remains dormant as an unutilised potential throughout your life. The sooner you unleash this inner potential, the more rewarding your future will be.

We Are Here to Help

At People Builders, we have a team of expert trainers and coaches who can help you in building you and your team’s Emotional Intelligence. Contact us today for a quick chat to see how we can partner with you to train and coach you and your team.

If you are interested in becoming certified to be a trainer and coach in Social and Emotional Intelligence, Applied Neuroscience, or Extended DISC, go to our People Builders Institute website.

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