Why Am I Feeling This Way?

Image of a man on the verge of burnout

Bill has been a top performer in his workplace for the past two years. However, for about a year now, things have changed for him.

Bill feels like he is on a plateau, and he cannot determine why.

He does not know what he wants anymore and feels like he is just going through the motions.

Bill feels disengaged.

Physically, despite his 7-hour sleep daily, Bill always feels tired. He also has daily bouts of headaches and body pain. He had this checked by his doctor, and was told he's fine but must be really stressed.

And this is true…

Bill feels stressed most of the time.

He feels stressed at work and at home.

Bill's performance at work is deteriorating. His headaches and body pain frequently make him late for work, negatively affecting his output and performance. His supervisor often reprimands him for this, adding to his stress.

Bill often blames others for his poor performance. He blames his supervisor, his co-workers, and even his family.

At home, he becomes stressed out by his wife's nagging, which frequently results in lengthy and stressful arguments. The noise his children make while playing also easily irritates him. That is why, when Bill is at home, he avoids them entirely by spending the majority of his time in his office rather than with his family.

Ironically, his desperate need for a space to breath makes Bill feel guilty. He loves his family so much, yet he doesn't want to hurt their feelings by lashing out at them.

Bill cannot understand what is happening to him and often asks himself: "Why am I feeling this way?”


There is a lot of 'Bill' in all of us!

How about you? Can you relate to what Bill is going through?

Do you often feel tired and disengaged feeling as if you are just going through the motions?

Do you often find yourself easily irritated, angered, and frustrated?

Do you find yourself stressed out and out of balance in your work, health, and family life?

And do you, like Bill, often find yourself asking: "Why am I feeling this way? 

If you answered 'yes' to two or more of the questions, then like Bill, you might need to develop your Emotional Self Awareness

 What is Emotional Self Awareness, and how can it help You?


Emotional Self-Awareness
is defined as the ability to recognise your feelings, differentiate between them, know why you are feeling them, and recognise the impact your feelings have on you and those around you.

The MIT Sloan Management Review states that emotional self-awareness is one of the most critical competencies a person should develop. Emotional self-awareness enables a person to know where their natural inclinations lie and use this knowledge to boost or compensate for them. The University of Pennsylvania conducted a study that established a link between self-awareness and a variety of positive workplace changes, including the following: 

100 percent reported an increase in workplace effectiveness.

79 percent mentioned improved workplace relationships.

86 percent reported an increase in their capacity to recognise and manage their emotions.

81 percent attributed a decrease in stress to increased emotional self-awareness.

Another study has also proven that individuals with a clear view of themselves are more confident and creative. They make more informed decisions, form stronger bonds, and communicate more effectively. They are less prone to deceit, fraud, and theft. They are more productive and, as a result, receive more promotions.

Indeed, emotional self-awareness helps you become a better version of yourself. When you develop this competency, you will: 

• Know which emotions you are feeling and why.

• Realise, in the moment, the links between your feelings and what you think, do, and say.

Recognise how your feelings affect your performance.

• Be able to articulate your feelings and appropriately express them.

• Be able to tell, in the moment, when you are getting upset.

 Developing Your Emotional Self-Awareness

So how do you develop emotional self-awareness? You can strengthen this competency by doing the following actions:

Regularly check in on your feelings. During the day, schedule brief but frequent check-ins on what your body might be feeling, and check in on your emotional state as well.

• If you find yourself clenching your teeth, tensing your shoulders, feeling worn out or worn down, stop and ask yourself what your body is trying to tell you – are you feeling strained? Stressed? Anxious? Fearful? Overwhelmed? Discouraged? Burned out?

• Name your emotions and connect them specifically to a source or to a situation, concern, or issue.

• "Listen" to what your emotions might be telling you in that moment.

• Use the information that bubbles up from inside, listen to your intuition to gain insight that could guide you in dealing with the issue or challenge.

• Take the time to be introspective, to listen to that quiet inner voice. Put aside some of your goal-oriented activities and think. Take long walks, know your core values, and stop thinking of your emotions as irrelevant or messy. Our emotions are essential sources of valuable information.


Indeed, just like Bill, you can move from a feeling of entrapment to one of fulfilment. You can shift from feeling stressed to feeling refreshed, from a sense of confusion to one of clarity, and from a state of uncertainty to complete certainty.

 All you need to do is develop your Emotional Self-Awareness 

"Like an ability or a muscle, hearing your inner wisdom is strengthened by doing it." - Robbie Gass.

So, are you ready to make the shift you need to have the life you want?

We Are Here to Help

At People Builders, we have a team of expert trainers and coaches who can help you in develop your Self-Awareness. Contact us today for a quick chat to see how we can partner with you to train and coach you and your team.

If you are interested in becoming certified to be a trainer and coach in Social and Emotional Intelligence, Applied Neuroscience, or Extended DISC, go to our People Builders Institute website.

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