Why Coaching Is Still Missing From Most Leadership Conversations

Performance Management is Not the Same as Development

In many organisations, development conversations are only triggered by problems.

A result slips, a behaviour needs correcting, or a standard is not met. So, a conversation is scheduled where expectations are clarified and feedback is delivered.

That process matters as performance standards are important, and support and accountability are essential if you want to see continual improvement.

But performance management is not the same as performance coaching.

Performance management focuses on output, whereby coaching focuses on growth, and in many workplaces, that second discipline is still underused or not used at all.

The Workplace Pattern: Growth Only Happens When Something Goes Wrong

If you observe when leaders most often have “development” conversations, it is usually during annual reviews or after a mistake has occurred. Development becomes reactive rather than intentional.

The unintended message is subtle but powerful. Growth becomes something we talk about when something is not working, rather than something we invest in consistently.

Over time, that shapes how people interpret the feedback you give them. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to expand their capability, they begin to associate it with correction. Leaders, too, can unconsciously narrow their role to maintaining standards rather than strengthening potential because let's face it, that's what they are usually measured on.

Coaching and Mentoring is a Relationship Management Competency

In the Four-Quadrant Model of Social and Emotional Intelligence we use at People Builders, Coaching and Mentoring sits within the Relationship Management quadrant.

It is defined as identifying others’ development needs and bolstering their abilities.

That definition is deliberate as coaching is not simply offering advice, and it is not rescuing someone from difficulty. It is not sharing what you would do in their position and expecting that to be enough.

It is the disciplined practice of strengthening someone’s thinking, judgement and confidence so that next time, they are more capable of getting the results you both need without you.

Why Coaching Gets Sidelined

It is not difficult to understand why coaching is often overlooked. Leaders carry responsibility for results, deadlines rarely soften, and operational pressure does not politely pause while someone reflects on their development goals.

In that environment, stepping in with the answer feels efficient. Clarifying the expectation feels productive and taking control feels responsible.

The immediate issue is resolved and the day moves on.

But when that pattern repeats, something begins to shift. People become more cautious about making decisions independently and they look continually upward for reassurance. Initiative becomes narrower because the safest option is to check before acting.

Capability does not collapse overnight. It simply stops stretching.

The Difference Between Managing and Developing

Performance management asks, “Did you achieve the result I asked you for?”

Coaching asks, “What capability will help you achieve stronger results next time?”

Performance management clarifies standards and reinforces accountability. Coaching strengthens independent thinking and long-term judgement.

Both have a place but when coaching is absent, leaders unintentionally build reliance instead of resilience.

Coaching in the Age of Intelligence

We are operating in an age where information is abundant and technical knowledge can be accessed instantly. What differentiates organisations now is not access to answers, but the ability to grow people who can think critically, adapt under pressure and lead others well.

That kind of capability does not emerge from annual reviews alone. It develops through consistent, intentional coaching conversations woven into everyday leadership behaviour.

When leaders use coaching as a proactive development tool rather than a corrective response, ownership deepens naturally. Confidence builds gradually and future leaders begin to show themselves through the way they approach challenges.

The organisation becomes less dependent on a few individuals because capability is distributed more widely across the team.

It's like a jeweller cutting away the rough edges of the stone to reveal the brilliance of the diamond within.

Making Coaching Intentional

Embedding coaching in your leadership capability does not require complex systems to begin. It starts with a shift in orientation.

Instead of waiting for performance issues, leaders look for development opportunities in ordinary moments. Instead of defaulting to answers, they ask questions that encourage reflection. Instead of focusing only on immediate outcomes, they pay attention to how capability is evolving over time.

This is not about being softer. It is about being more deliberate in how leadership influence is used.

A Final Reflection

Many organisations invest heavily in strategy, systems and performance metrics. Far fewer invest deliberately in strengthening everyday coaching capability at the people leadership level.

Yet, Coaching and Mentoring is a core Relationship Management competency that is essential in every team. It shapes confidence, succession, engagement, and sustainable performance, in ways that are not always immediately visible, but deeply influential over time.

If development conversations only happen when something goes wrong, growth will always feel reactive. When coaching becomes a normal leadership discipline, performance improves because capability has expanded underneath it.

The real question is not whether you are supporting your team, but whether or not you are intentionally building them.

At People Builders, we work with organisations to strengthen social and emotional intelligence at leadership level, embedding coaching and mentoring as practical, everyday capabilities rather than occasional conversations. When leaders develop this discipline, they move beyond managing performance and begin multiplying it.